Dear Today Kiri Who Was Just Bested By A Coffee Maker,
Hey, girl. Nice bracelet. Did a six-year-old make it for you? No, seriously. I know a guy. He does good work.
I know you’re kind of a hot mess today. You left your wallet in your other bag and have to run home before racing back downtown to catch your evening train. You thought 1/2 was bigger than 3/4 because your fourth grade teacher taught you square dancing instead of fractions. Then you told your boss about it. You work in the financing industry. This personal reveal was a poor choice. Stupid days happen, I know they do. It might have something to do with staying up too late writing fan fiction. Again. No judgment, just a thought. I’m brainstorming here. But since you finished all of the copy editing you had to get done today and changed the lobby clock without breaking anything, I’m going to let your hot messery slide. Because in spite of everything, you did your best today. And I’m proud of you.
…But you should probably print your train ticket now before you forget about it for the 97th time today. Just a suggestion.
Reasonable Kiri Who No One Believes Actually Exists